Being Brave

I heard a song faintly playing in the background while I was at work one day. I had caught a few of the words and the tune and made a mental note to listen to it on the way home, and then, promptly forgot about it. A few weeks later, after having gone through a very emotional, and draining week, I heard it again. This time I was at home, alone, folding laundry. It was like a dam had been burst. It was such an emotional release and I proceeded to bawl my eyes out! You see, earlier, I had been trying to write a recap blog post about 2013 and had kept getting stuck. I couldn't find a way to write out what a tough year it had been for me, without it sounding like a pity party and I wasn't wanting it to be a negative sounding post. I just wanted to make the point that it had been really rough for me, and that I had done some soul searching to see why it had effected me the way it had, but it was just coming out all wrong.

So, imagine his surprise, when my poor husband came home to a sobbing wife, and asked what was wrong. I internalize basically everything, so it took a bit to articulate what had happened, and explain how I had been feeling, and a hole bunch of other things that I had been stuffing way down inside me. He was such a sweetheart about it. So understanding, and apologetic that he hadn't realised what had been going on with me. He really is the best! <3

That day has been the first step of many, and I am sure many more into the future. I am trying to live in the moment, to speak truth and love, and to speak them loudly and bravely. 

BRAVE - Sara Bareilles

You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up

Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just want to see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

Everybody’s been there,
Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy
Fallen for the fear
And done some disappearing,
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, just stop holding your tongue

Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

And since your history of silence
Won’t do you any good,
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
See you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you